Babies Are Like Drunks…

Who Me?

 After 4 non-stop weeks of spending time with a baby, Brandon and I have agreed that babies are a lot like drunk people, see list of evidence below. I am sure there are more similarities… see if you can add to the list!

Both babies and drunks:

  1.  puke and are not bothered, even if it gets on their clothes
  2. are obsessed with women’s breasts
  3. always want to take their clothes off
  4. poop and pee their pants
  5. talk with slurred, unintelligible speech
  6. have eyes that move in different directions
  7. make uncoordinated movements
  8. are entertained by the littlest things
  9. cry about the littlest things
  10. are easily consoled with food
  11. eat and then pass out
  12. will sleep just about anywhere
  13. have no volume control on their voice
  14. will drink until they vomit and then still come back for more
  15. have touble keeping their heads up

 Today Everly and I went out to get some things and we got a flat tire- what an adventure. Thank goodness she stayed sleeping and B was home to come to our rescue. He took the offending tire in to be fixed and I drove home on the spare. We had a few more things to get done, but I decided not to risk it as a potentially really sucky situation was not that bad, best not to tempt the fates at this point. B showed me how to change the tire if it ever happens again, let’s hope it doesn’t happen again and be thankful for handy husbands. Below is said handy husband teaching his daughter how to dance. “you are light on your feet,” he comments proudly.

2009 Jun 06 023

We are practicing self soothing in this house. Now that Everly is 4 weeks old, I think it is time to see how she handles some situations. She sleeps great when she is being held or snuggled by someone, but there are, unfortunately, times where I need to put her down on her own to sleep- heaven forbid! The truly unfortunateness about these unfortunate times is that I am not putting her down to do anything all that exciting; think folding the laundry, emptying the dishwasher, making the bed, tidying up,- yeay life in the fast lane basically. So I have started to self By just counting to 3 each time she fusses, I have learned that she does not need me to come running every time she makes a noise, sometimes she even (gasp) falls back to sleep on her own! Right now I count to 3 in a few weeks I’ll count to 5. If only all of us had just 5 seconds to wait before we got everything we wanted, LOL!

2009 Jun 07 009 

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2 Comments

Filed under Daily Check In

2 responses to “Babies Are Like Drunks…

  1. Bev McFadyen

    Jessica, the drunk comparison is absolutely hilarious!! I don’t know if you ever thought about writing for a living, but you definitely could. You have got some real talent for expressing the mundane in many exciting and funny ways. Keep it up, you never know when that best seller will reveal itself.

    Love, Mom (Gramma)

  2. Pingback: Babies Are Like Drunks Our Little Pickle | All For Newborns

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