Baby has been eating like crazy lately! When she is awake she sometimes eats every 45 minutes, when she sleeps she wakes ravenous and is not shy about voicing it, lol. The doctor says that she is going through a growth spurt, well sometimes it feels like I have gone through a growth spurt as I have a baby permanently connected to my right or left boob! The upside that I can see to this growth spurt though is that the bigger she gets, the bigger her stomach gets and then the longer she will sleep at night. She is not that terrible of a sleeper at night, but still a constant 6 or 7 hours sounds divine right now, right up there on my list with a day at the spa. B gets a kick out of her feeding, he laughs at how she literally “chomps” onto the breast (yes she makes an audible chomping sound) and then starts the process of suckle-gulp-sign. The pictures below show the difference between fed and hungry, see if you can guess which one is which…
In the last few days, she has also been a lot more alert. We spend much of this alert time doing exercises, well she exercises, I fold laundry. Sometimes I hold her in the lap cradle position and we talk to each other, other times I lay her on her back on the bed or her playmat. It is amazing the way she gets her arms and legs going, I can’t believe it sometimes. On Sunday she found her own reflection on the mirror that is attached to her play mat. She made some of the most interesting noises we had ever heard. She was grunting, squealing, ‘a-boo”ing and all in all sounding like an Ewok, it was pretty cute. The exercises wear her out I think, but they also may make her more hungry, hmmm- might not have thought this one through completely yet, lol.
Everly and I visited my work today. I was asked the question, “do you love it?” in reference to motherhood. I thought before I replied and decided to go with honesty, I said, “sometimes yes and sometimes no,” I cringed as I waited for the glares of judgement, but to my relief was only given one response by many, “good answer!” Well it’s the honest answer. No one can ever tell you anything to prepare you for parenthood. I thought I had it all figured out. I knew it would not be a walk in the park, I knew it would be the biggest thing I have ever done in my life, but still I did not anticipate this! You give up so much, and sometimes I think you risk giving up a lot of yourself. The tricky thing about this is that you don’t really even realize the pieces you give up, it takes someone reminding you (like B reminding me that I have to take care of myself to take care of her). Because in addition to the hard stuff, no one can ever prepare you for how good the good stuff is. No one can explain to you how quickly and strongly you can fall in love with someone so tiny, how that person suddenly becomes your world. No one can prepare you for the alligator tears you get in your eyes for something as simple as gazing at your baby. The love that a baby brings into your life is amazing. People say things like, “isn’t it weird how you can’t remember life before them?” I can remember my life without her, but it wasn’t as full and my heart has never been this near to bursting.
Not only did we visit work today (and have a major epiphany), but we basically had another mission day. We saw the doctor, went for lunch with Taylor, dropped Taylor off at school, visited my work, bought a book/got Starbucks, picked Madison and Taylor up from school and then came home. Before baby, this would have been a relatively slow day, funny though how babies have their way of moving the pace of life to that of molasses. She had two major poops, the second resulted in the loss of her jeans so she rode home in just a shirt. She threw up on herself and me; fortunately I wore layers and had a tank to drive home in, she had the same shirt (now with a bit of poop and puke). She needed to be fed 3 times; tons more people have seen my breast and hamburger meat nipples than I would like to count. But we made it and we are pooped!