Baby and I did a photoshoot the other day in our bedroom. Turns out that on a sunny day at approximately 3:30 the room has the most amazing light, so we took advantage! Below are some of my favourite shots out of the 100 or so that I took in under 10 minutes. One thing I have learned about photographing babies (both from Everly and other babies that I have been lucky to capture) is that you have to move FAST! I am really happy with these shots and am working on getting them to a photo developer for some larger prints for our wall! I think the first one is my #1 fav!
After doing this shoot, I though to myself about all the shoots that I have left to do with her and I got really excited and a flood of ideas came into my head. Then this lead to the realization of time and the cold hard fact that she is my child and I am her mother. I am someones mother. I am not sure that you think too much about this in pregnancy. I mean you think about being a mom (especially about being a bad mom and worrying that the baby will hate you), but you don’t really think about the life long journey that you are about to embark on. Even if you thought a little bit about what it means to be a mom, it was likely the lighter things like dressing the baby up in cute outfits or special events like that first smile, first tooth and first steps. Not too many of us spend time thinking about getting up at 3:30am, changing poopey diapers that come outside the actual diaper and showering with a vibrating bouncy seat outside the shower so that you can wash your hair! That’s what it really means to be someones mother. I anticipate it only getting more difficult to be a mother also. There are colds and flus, the tricky twos, bad days at school, talking back, the whole teenager period (when they all of the sudden hate you regardless of the effort you have put forth to try to give them a good life and the sacrifices you have made for them). Thinking ahead to this, I start to feel a little bit guilty (just a little) for what I put my parents through (and I really wasn’t that bad) you start to realize how horrible it must have been for them to have their little baby, their sweet little girl look them in the face and say, “I HATE YOU!” I wonder if those 3:30am feedings came into their heads. I do believe though that you are not a parent if your child has not hated you at least once, you are setting a limit and they don’t like that, hopefully when it is my turn to be hated I will have the good sense to not take it personally and just understand that it is a stage in her development and that she will come back to being my sweet girl again one day. 1 month old and I am already thinking about her 20’s… back up the truck and let’s get through today, lol.
On breastfeeding… with her hunger increased so is my milk supply, kinda gross to share I know, but I just have to. So with this increased supply I am always amazed at those accidental “leaks” or “squirts” that make it out. Now I am not an idiot, I wear the nursing pads… I am talking about those times where you are in the bath, in the shower, drying off, changing your bra from night nursing bra to day nursing bra… Yesterday I was getting out of the bath, I was all dried off and putting on lotion. I bent over to do my legs and noticed little drops on the floor of the bathroom, I thought oh I must have missed some spots drying off so I toweled my body again, then went back to my legs… drip, drip, drop, there they were again; this lead to the A-HA moment of where these drops were really coming from- my breasts; gross. I felt like saying ladies, turn of the taps it is not drink time at the pub. I am thankful that a friend of mine warned me about the shower though, quite an experience to be washing your hair and see milk squirting out in front of you only thwarting your efforts to keep your toes clean.
I just have to add here at the end that the self soothing is really coming along. While I did this entire post Everly was laying on our bed cooing and kicking and playing away. Now I might have made a noise or 20 million to keep her interested, but no one was holding her. I almost feel like a magician when I say that, “no one was holding her… oooooo.” Good job baby 🙂