Sometimes I feel like the baby is an ogling old guy. When I am getting dressed in the morning and have her laying on the bed, it is not uncommon for her to stare up at me with wide eyes and a bit of drool on her chin- yes this happens particularly when I am changing from my night time nursing bra to my day time nursing bra. Is that all I am to you baby, a set of boobs? C’mon! She sits there with her bald head, no teeth, paunchy belly and pants up to her ribs and stares; just like an old guy. I took her into work and she just lusted after one of my busty coworkers April. She would not take her eyes off April, just stared at her like a dude in a night club stares at the drunkest chick in the place at 2:00am; I am not taking my eyes off you, you are a sure thing and you are coming home with me.
Recently I have found myself becoming increasingly jealous of friends and family who are living a more jet set lifestyle than myself. People are seeing things and doing things and sometimes I feel like my life is slowly but surely being eaten away by day to day routine. After expressing this jealousy to my husband he asked, “don’t you enjoy being a mother?” WTF? Of course I enjoy being a mother, but that doesn’t mean that I don’t still enjoy doing what I used to enjoy doing before I became a mother! It’s almost like people think that once you become a mother you don’t have your own wants and needs anymore and if you do, well then you are a bad mother! I think what makes a good mother is one who knows that she still needs to have some independence and to not be afraid to ask for it. A good mother is a rested mother, a mother that is in it with all of her heart and not resenting anyone because she never gets any time to herself. It took me some time reflecting on these feelings to turn my green eyes back to their natural amber brown… what I realized is that technically I am seeing things and doing things! And the things that I have been doing and seeing have never been done before. Out of all the places I have been and all of the amazing things that I have seen, nothing has compared to my daughters first smile or the whisper of her lashes on her cheeks when she has fallen asleep, or her perfect little toes and rosebud mouth. I am witnessing her exploration of the world. I know that eventually that world will expand and we will begin to go places together and how cool is that!
For our first anniversary Brandon and I decided to make the break with baby for the evening, there really wasn’t a better time, or a better reason to rip off the no-baby band-aid. We enlisted the help of granny and grandpa North and were on our way to 4 hours alone and an evening of fun, how could we not have fun, we were going to be baby free! We decided to go out for dinner and bought a small 6” round of our wedding cake for dessert. I have to admit that eating at a restaurant all by myself without worrying that she would wake up was really nice! We got to take our time and just chat. Wasn’t long before the conversation turned to her though, lol. After dinner we got in the car and asked each other “what do you want to do?” We could not come up with anything, NOTHING! I asked him, what did we do before we had a baby, my God it wasn’t that long ago! But the answer was to go to a friends place and have drinks, well that won’t work now because either our friends have babies or have babies on the way or are trying to get pregnant- yes we are a procreating bunch, lol. We ended up driving around all the scenic routes and hanging out at Starbucks for 30 minutes (when in doubt put food or drink in your mouth to pass the time). Pretty sad, that’s all I have to say! I think we felt so much that we had to “do” something because there is always something to do when baby is around, and if there isn’t we can just watch her and be entertained- that chick is crazy! Crazy chick below being entertaining…
The room is finished! Wahoo! It looks great and is so nice to have, it’s the coolest room in the house right now so we spend lots of time in there playing. Everly and I are very proud of her dad and his friends who did all of the work- many thanks Daddy, Brian, Uncle Steve, Uncle David and Joe! Some pics below as promised.