A new mom friend of mine, who will remain unnamed, recently had a run in with haemorrhoids. Now I totally realize that by saying it was a nameless friend that people will think this is a total “Saved by the Bell” moment and that I am talking about myself, but really I am not, and after seeing the pain she went through I am pretty relieved that it wasn’t me. She didn’t have any issues right after birth, but then suddenly something came a creeping and she was in a huge amount of pain, she likened it to crowning. Now for those of you who have experienced the natural childbirth pain of crowning, you know we are talking some serious pain! We made a trip to the drugstore to buy some products that would hopefully give her some relief and fix the issue. We made our way coyly to the correct isle and then selected the most unassuming products that we could find, we then proceeded to select “padding items” that would accompany her purchase so that it wasn’t so obvious what she was buying… $60.00 in not really necessary goods later she had what she needed and we headed home. When we got there she read the directions and we nearly died when we found out that the cream comes with an applicator and you are meant to stick this applicator up your bum! Argh! Have mothers not gone through enough with birthing the baby, now they have to stick things up their bum?! And this applicator was not tiny. I suggested that she use some lube (the health nurse suggested it for the thermometer for baby, so why wouldn’t it work here?), she exclaimed, all we have is flavoured and I don’t want too put flavoured lube up my bum- fair enough. So she turned to the less intrusive medicated pads. She walked out of the bathroom and mentioned something about the comfort of wearing the pad, I said um, I don’t think you are meant to wear them, I think it’s just wipe and go- well we nearly killed ourselves laughing, if you can’t laugh at yourself at a time like this, you are waaay to uptight! Over the past few days we discovered that her particular case doesn’t need “internal application” (you could almost see her shoulders relax on the announcement of this) and I am happy to say that with treatment it should get better soon, which is good, because the last thing a new mom needs is something that makes her job more painful to do! For those of you concerned about privacy issues, I did ask permission before I posted this, lol! ps. I hope you all clicked on the link and saw the photo of the “classical appearance of a hostile Hemorrhoid!”
On to another glamorous topic- losing hair. I remember reading in the pregnancy books that I would loose some hair after the baby came out, silly me, I expected this to happen pretty soon after she arrived. When nothing really happened I though that I had dodged a bullet, well think again, looks like it just took me a little bit longer; funny enough, it coincided with the time that Everly started to loose some hair too?? Now this isn’t just a few strands here and there, there are clumps of it coming out in the shower; so much so that I make a ball of it and stick it to the side of the tub, because if I let it all go down the drain B would have to get out the wire and haul Chewbacca out of the drain every second day. I didn’t think it would fall out like this. Thank goodness I have always had thick hair or I might be worried and paying more attention to hair loss commercials. Ah the joys of new motherhood!