Well it looks like we were repaid in full for the great bedtime we had the night before last. Everly pulled all the stops last night in a classic Tennessee shuffle; we looked one way and she went the other. She went down great shortly after 7:00, her eyes opened briefly as I laid her down, she looked up at me and was so peaceful. I said I love you and have a good sleep and walked out and closed the door… wow, I am such a good mom I thought to myself…
Then fast forward to 7:46, someone on a football team made a good play and the crowd roared upstairs. The problem with old houses is not so good sound insulation 😦 She woke up and I didn’t worry too much, she has done it before and is usually back to sleep in a minute or so, but not tonight, tonight she wanted to dish out something special for mama. She protested quite strongly for over an hour. To make matters worse, she has begun to be a rolling ‘one way’ master (v. proud) and of course that one way is from her back to her belly; of course. So she would get pissed off, and roll over and then get even more pissed off and we would have to go back in and turn her over and then she would see us and we weren’t rescuing her and she would get even more pissed off, it was awesome.
After 35 minutes I had to leave the house. Fortunately I had a great friend over and we went for a nice brisk walk around the block while B manned the fort. I said to my friend I don’t know what feels worse, sitting at home and listening to her protest or leaving and feeling guilty about leaving. She made a great point and said that I am around for all of the protesting during the day, so when I have the chance to take a little break I should take it. She is right. I think sometimes we get lost in our own mom guilt that we forget about self care.
I hope that tonight is not the same. When you have a good night or a bad night you think long and hard about what you did that day and what you might have done to contribute to the outcome. If it’s a good night you want to make sure you replicate it exactly for the next night, kind of like athletes not shaving or changing their socks (just a note Evie, neither one of those are options for me). When it is a bad night to make damn good and sure that you DON’T replicate it in any way shape or form, it’s like you encounter a routine virus (h1n1 for sleep deprivation basically and you all know the crazy panic about h1n1 so you catch my drift).
The daytime was better though. She had two good hour long naps, just two, but she did get up at 8:20am, so who knows. I am looking forward to the day when she is on a consistent schedule that’s for sure. All of this guessing game stuff wears me out because you never know what is going to happen during the day. Doesn’t the baby know that her mama used to be bound to an agenda, I am a planner baby- gawd, lol. I know, I know, she is my lesson to learn that you can’t control everything and that sometimes you have to roll with the punches- consider me rolling!