Not As Planned

On Friday night, my friend Lauren and I decided that we were going to go out and have some fun. I have literally had one drink in about 18 months, so I was a little hesitant, but thought that going out amongst adults might be really good for me. I think if I had left it at the going out part it might have; the couple of drinks part did not help at all! I had a great time with Lauren at dinner though, probably could have ended the night there because I felt really good and relaxed and happy. But then we decided to go out to a pub.

The last time I have been to such an establishment was on my stagette over a year and a half ago. We ran as fast as we could when we finally decided where to go (decision was largely based on geographical closeness to where we had dinner). When I say ran, I don’t mean that we ran as fast as we could because we were so excited to get there; we ran as fast as we could because it was pissing rain sideways and not pretty at all outside. We arrived to the pub looking a little like drowned rats- just a little.

When we got in there I felt really weird and like everyone was staring at me because they knew I didn’t belong. Come to think of it now, they were probably staring at me because I had a deer in the headlights look on my face. Lauren encouraged me to be more positive as I kept pointing out the negatives of the establishment; lots of old people, smelly, I was wet, there was nowhere to sit, drinks were SOO expensive- can you tell I don’t get out much. The joy of joys was when I had to use the washroom- ugh! Have washrooms in pubs and clubs always been this gross, I don’t remember from 5 or so years ago, but they were nasty. I think it’s fair to say that I was having trouble getting into the spirit of the place.

After a few laps (Lauren said this is what single people do so that they can scope out the prospects), we decided to ‘lean’ on a railing that bordered the dance floor- ah the dance floor, always entertainment to be had there. Sure enough it wasn’t long before we were pissing our pants laughing as a young gentleman was being visually seduced by a woman twice his age. The moves on this lady were epic, kind of like Elaine from Seinfeld, you just couldn’t believe it was happening. He saw that we were laughing at him and was mouthing ‘help me’ over and over. Lauren and I shook our heads and pointed and laughed, there was no way we were contributing to the end of our entertainment. I think the lady eventually got the hint when she grabbed his legs and he slapped her mutton hands away like they held the plague. He ended up thanking us for not helping him, and we found through further conversation that he was a really nice guy… oh and he was a member of the Sticky Wicket hockey team, Lauren and I have a knack for meeting teams, it’s just what we do.

11:30 rolled around and I was beat. The hockey players made good conversation and were very entertaining, but they couldn’t keep me from blinking double time to keep my eyes open. I also felt really nauseated, I guess 5 drinks in 2 and a half hours will do that to you when you have been out of the game for a while, lol. I politely excused myself and left Lauren there with her pals. Some of you might say oh my God, how could you leave Lauren, alone, with an entire hockey team- that’s breaking girl code!… if you are saying this it is because you don’t know Lauren. The girl would be called a broad if it were 50 years ago. It is a mistake to be fooled by her beautiful and feminine exterior as inside she is tough and can hold her own against anyone; I was more worried about the guys, lol!

So I hopped in a cab and was on my way home. I got a very friendly cab driver fortunately, as I was in an alcohol induced extra talkative mood and we discussed married life and babies (he was also married with a young child). We both came to the conclusion that we would rather stay home and play Rockband than to go out on the town. We also agreed that to realize this conclusion, you have to go out once and a while and remind yourself how lucky you are to have what you have and boy did I ever. I was showing hockey players pictures of Everly on my phone for crying out loud! I was feeling really happy and lucky about my life when I left that cab.

When I came inside, I pumped all the toxic milk out (was hard to dump 8 ounces down the drain!) and passed out by 12:30. Brandon had offered to do the night feeding and the first morning feed so that I could sleep. I don’t know if I was more excited to go out or come home and sleep all night when he first said this- ha ha ha. I put my head to the nice cold pillow and I honestly can’t even remember anything after that…

Fast forward to 1:47 am, and Everly is freaking out. I mentioned to B that he might want to feed her right away as they sounded like hunger cries. So he got up and fed her a bottle, put her to bed and came back to bed himself. Of course I was wide awake the whole time, waiting for her to be happy again- that did not happen. She fussed and yelled and was generally not impressed for another 40 minutes (30 had gone by previously). I said to him that she might still be hungry (we have noticed that in the past two weeks she has gone from 4 ounce bottles to 7 ounce bottles, just like that?!). He had a bit of a meltdown of frustration so I took over. I got up, fed her the bottle and put her to bed and thank goodness she fell asleep right away, all in all- she was up for 2 hours, it was now almost 4:00 am. I crashed into bed. She woke for the day at 7:00 am and I was unable to go back to sleep. That night I had a grand total of 4 hours of sleep, that is the least amount of sleep that I have ever had in my entire life. I felt like a zombie.

So what did I learn from this?

1) going out for dinner with girlfriends and having a couple drinks is good! 2) my baby knows when I want to go out for a longer night of fun filled with more than just a couple of drinks and will punish me accordingly- so next time act accordingly whilst out. 3) clubs are not really for me anymore. 4) I need at least 4 hours of sleep to function during the day whlist caring for an infant. 5) I am so very lucky to have the life that I do. I am lucky to have found a partner who loves me and who enjoys my company, and who’s company I enjoy and love. I am lucky to have a happy, healthy, beautiful little girl who is more fun to watch dance than even the mutton dressed as lamb. That Friday night out was like Thanksgiving.


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