After the hustle and bustle of Christmas Day and Boxing Day were over, B and I sat back to relax a little bit. Until I realized that I could not find our early ultrasound pictures. I had them out to share with family and had not kept track of where they went afterwards. I called some family members to see if they remembered where they put them when they were done… there was some passing the buck going on, no one wanted to be the last one with the photos. I took this as a bad sign and told B with a near tears induced stutter that they must have been thrown out.
Man of my heart what did he do… he went into the garage and grabbed the two heaping sacks of gift wrap and boxes that we had prepared to bring in to the recycling centre. He sat and went through all three likely suspects. But we found no pictures. He looked in the garbage bag that was in the kitchen… the rest were in the BFI bin already and likely under everyone else’s “Christmas cheer” by now. They were gone.
I sat back down on the couch. I thought of the scan itself. I remembered the tiny little peanut on the screen and the little flicker of a heartbeat that we saw. I took deep breaths… told myself they are only photographs, they are not the actual baby. This is not a bad omen, this is not a sign. Everything will be okay. B suggested that I contact our doctor and see if there are copies of the scan that we could get. Being the logical one he deducted that there must be some sort of additional record kept of our scan if it is intended for medical/diagnostic purposes. I relaxed a little thinking he must be right.
After a few minutes went by I said to him, you know this never would have happened with Everly. The minute we got home with her scan pictures we immediately photographed and scanned them and then I put them in a Ziploc bag and into her memory box. I printed out copies from my scans and those were what I passed around to friends and family. I was much more diligent. With these new set of pictures I put them aside and thought oh yes, must scan these and then forgot. Is that what will happen to my second child. Will many of their “moments” be put aside because there isn’t the same amount of time? Was this our first taste of parenting the second child? Probably. I realized then and there that the memory keeping of our little peanut is going to require a firmer hand.
An hour later my aunt called, she had the pictures among her things. Oh relief, aren’t you a beautiful feeling.