For the second time in my blogging career I would like to quote Kenan Thompson’s SNL news show host character, “Ooooohhhhh Eeeeeeeeee, what up with that, what up with that?”
I understand that when you are a blogger you are putting yourself out there and pretty much asking to be judged. I am going to go out on a limb here and make the assumption that for most people the mere thought of blogging their thoughts, dreams, experiences and views on their world is terrifying, because for most of us, being judged is terrifying. I was fairly confident that I had come to a really good place in regards to my comfort level in dealing with the not-so-nice-comment, especially after the whole controversial sleep training thing last year. My skin got a little bit thicker and I realized that as long as my family is happy and healthy and I am happy and healthy it really doesn’t matter what anyone else things.
Blogging about loosing my mom was not as difficult as most people think it is. I received so many comments about being brave and strong, but I don’t necessarily subscribe to the belief that I am all that brave or all that strong really. Writing seemed like the most natural thing to do. Connecting to people seemed like the most natural thing to do. To me, I didn’t see the difference between writing down my thoughts and sharing them and speaking them aloud to people around me. I was not afraid to share what grief felt like for me, because I don’t think grief or the grieving process is anything to be ashamed of. I figured that this would be a time in my blogging where I could pretty much write whatever I wanted and I wouldn’t see any negative backlash.
Oh but how the internet and life love to prove us wrong. I was wrong. Yes there are people out there who will pick on a pregnant woman in the process of grieving the loss of her mother. Apparently there are things that I am supposed to think, do or feel that I am not showing evidence of. There are things that I am saying that I shouldn’t be as well. I actally received more flack for the latter. Funny, it was me who lost MY mom, one would think that MY process of grief would be unique to me. Hmmm, was it just me who thought that?
I am not opposed to differing points of view. I think that’s what makes the world an interesting place. On any other topic I would post the not-so-nice comments as it creates healthy discussion. But I didn’t publish these comments as I didn’t feel that they would bring anyone anything good. Well maybe those who love their daily dose of drama but that’s about it. I thought that posting these comments would actually be more toxic than anything, as anyone going though something similar might be triggered by them as well. My blog isn’t about that.
For me grief brought up a lot of emotion and a lot of reflection of my own life. Seeing how short life can be, my mom was merely 46 years old, really makes you think… well I think it makes those of us who want a lot out of life think anyway! And I think thank goodness that I don’t have to deal with these assholes on a daily basis.