The other day at work us girls were talking about what we wanted to be when we grew up. Two of us confessed to wanting to be the President/Queen of the whole world. One of them was me. Surprise, surprise. I imagine when I was little and I told this to people I probably spread my arms out wide for emphasis on the “WHOLE” part of the title. I was a smart assed and bossy little girl, but I was also smart. I think I might have done a good job. This is not a job I would want now, no way, no thank you. And this is not a job that other people would want me to have either, because I would cut a lot of redundant government jobs. Do we REALLY need 13 municipalities? Do we REALLY need to pay taxes that high? You know health care really isn’t free right? Socialism? Anywho, the list could go on and that’s a whole other post…
But this got me to thinking about my real dreams, about my current dreams. Both dreams for myself and dreams for my children. I think every parent does that. You look at your little baby and imagine what she/he is going to be and you imagine how happy and well adjusted they are going to be. All of our parents thought this I am sure, and all of us didn’t turn out happy and well adjusted, so what happened? LOL!
When I look at my daughter I know that above anything I want her to be happy. After happy comes strong, independent and intelligent. I would like her to tell me that she wants to be the boss of the whole world one day. To me, bossy and smart assed is better than meek and silent. My biggest fear would be for my daughter to be lazy and a quitter and to just accept something rather than fight for what she really wants. And I want her to have the grace to know which battles to pick. I want her to stand up for herself and help other people who want help and are less able to stand up for themselves. I want her to be the kid on the playground who takes offense to the other children using the word “gay” as a put down. I want her to foster change. So how do you foster this in a child?
Well step one would be leading by example right? Everly has a very strong example of independence and hard work in her father. Brandon started his own business in May 2009 and has run it successfully for nearly two years. He has supported our family entirely on his income. No small feat for a family in Victoria with the overinflated cost of living these days! He has determination, smarts and work ethic that is so enviable. He has never once hid from a challenge for as long as I have known him, and trust me this is a solid statistic as I have personally gotten him into a couple of challenging situations! I am so proud of him and I know that one day Everly and her sibling will be too. I am glad that she has examples of these qualities in her father. Her father no longer uses “gay” as a derogatory term either.
So with that said… now it’s my turn. When I grow up I want to be a photographic artist with my own studio. Said studio would have the option of both studio and natural lighting of course. Dream a little dream… it could happen though, one day. Right? Right! I am coming to realize that so many of the day to day choices that I make influence this dream and make it either more challenging to attain or more accessible. I would like to think that most of the choices I make fall within the latter category. It’s the 10 year plan, but if I can make it happen in 5, well that’s even better. I have drafted up some smaller business goals for the next year and I hope that by chipping away at them I will reach my ultimate goal.
And I would like to think of myself as tenacious. I hope that is something she does see in me. Someone joked to me once that I am like that blow up clown with the weight in the bottom that you can hit and it still bounces back… I joked yeah, it bounces back to take more hits, what a smart clown, lol.
My work ethic isn’t nearly on the same level as Brandon’s; but with everything that I do I try to do it to the best of my ability. I feel that there is no sense in doing something if you don’t try to do a good job. It’s just wasted time otherwise.
We do not allow hate words in our house, no matter how insignificant they may seem to some people. I used to get made fun of for this, but after explaining the reason people now accept it and our house is a hate word free zone. Hate words even include “bad.” I can’t stand it when people tell their children they are bad or not to be bad. What does bad mean to a child, talk about vague instructions! And ugly. We don’t use ugly in reference to “people” or cases of anthropomorphism. I don’t want that to be a prejudice that I pass on to my child. I am not a fool. I have read the studies that state that babies like to look at “attractive” faces more than “not attractive faces.” And I realize that some people are more attractive than others (um, I am a photographer after all!), but I also realize that physical beauty is not what defines a person or makes them beautiful ultimately (um, I am a photographer after all!). I would like my daughter to see people for who they are, not ugly or pretty, not gay or straight, not red or blue. Oh God I know that’s a lot to ask in today’s society, I really do, but that’s what I want for her. Maybe if enough of us parents want it for our kids they will have a hope in achieving it.
I hope that by being good role models for our children, B and I can give them the life opportunities to grow and learn and develop into healthy, functional, self actualized adults. I hope that they create happy lives for themselves and surround themselves with people who contribute to their happiness. There is nothing worse than seeing your child hurt or sad. Oh I wish I could protect them from everything but still allow them life experiences, yeah because that is a definite reality!!! LOL, this is the most jumbled post ever isn’t it. My thoughts just race at a million times a minute when I think of this topic. I bounce from one place to the next and become more and more passionate the more I get into it! What do you want for your kids and how are you trying to help them achieve it?