The Gas Lady’s Labour

I am not sure what it is about this pregnancy but I have gas to the max. Burping, gurgling, farting I have it all. I had it a little bit with Everly but not to this degree. But before I had Everly I was pretty much eating the way that I am now, whereas before I got pregnant with this baby I was practically vegan. I think this miiiiiiiight have something to do with it. My body is likely telling me that it is fiercely angry and that I need to stop eating this way, and I really would if I felt like I had any control over it. Doing that body testing exercise with my intuitive co-worker has led me to believe that my body just naturally goes for these yummy treats because that’s what it needs. My hand migrates towards the Gushers before it goes to the bran flakes, it’s pretty much science at this point. I plan to taper off the sugar in mid June and hope to be off it completely for a few weeks before baby is born. Sugar withdrawal is not something I want to be going through in the first weeks after delivery! Oh but it is going to be hard.

When I am at home with Everly my gas issues are a non issue. In fact my darling daughter finds farts and burps hilarious. You know you are doing something interesting when your almost two year old laughs her little ass off and says, “mama fart,” and “mama burp.” For some reason she says  fart and burp with an English accent. When she toots her dad makes this surprised face and says “what was that?” And then we prompt her to say, “excuse me I tooted,” which is just about the cutest thing you have EVER heard. When I was taking her out of bed a few weeks ago, leaning over her crib rail just the right way put pressure on my gut and I tooted. She looked at me with eyes wide and said “oh! what was that?” I replied, “excuse me, I tooted,” and then I laughed my ass off.

Nothing gets past her these days. Last week she told me that dad had a boogie in his nose. I said he did, how do you know? Did he blow it? She said no, he picked it out. Ah, I see. She also told me that daddy went poo-poo in his pants and I had to change him, I said daddy might have to change himself. She blames all poop/fart smells on her dad, which is funny because he isn’t the typical “poop and farts are hilarious” type of guy (which is wonderful if you ask me!), guess he is just a good scapegoat.

We are meeting with our doula tonight. Jay was there for Everly’s birth and it just seemed natural that she should be here for this baby’s birth as well. Jay was so immensely helpful to have there, she really kept me focused and on top of the pain. When I said I can’t do this, I am done, she said you are doing this and you are almost done, your baby is almost here. You need to hear those words when you feel like your body is being split into two. But, almost needless to say, the thought of seeing Jay again is bringing up the stark realization that I will have to give birth again. It’s funny how that one tiny little detail slips your mind when you are otherwise planning for the arrival of a new baby. Yes, I am counting down the 11 weeks until I am considered full term, but what actually happens after the 11 week countdown has been quite vague until recently.

Labour. Ugh. Can’t I just bypass the whole thing completely. Can’t I just walk through a doorway and on the other side be back to pre-pregnancy self, but with a tiny, perfect new baby in my arms? That’s what mother nature really should have made labour like. When thinking about what my labour is going to be like with this baby, I of course think about what labour was like with Everly. If you missed that blog post… here it is.

What I have concluded is:

– It will hurt

– I will survive

– We will get to meet the baby

When the due date was approaching with Everly I remember going to see our midwife and telling her what my birth will look like, and you know what, I totally called it. I got the exact birth that I asked for. So this time I told my midwife again what my birth would be like for this baby. I told her that my water will break about 20 minutes after I put Everly to bed and the baby will be out within two hours of that, likely making the birth around 10:30 or so at night. Then we can go to sleep, wake up and be back home to Everly in the morning. If you read my first birth story, you will know that this isn’t a completely crazy plan!

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3 Comments

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3 responses to “The Gas Lady’s Labour

  1. I’m assuming you mean Jay Duncan…she was our doula. Love her. I can still remember sitting on the edge of the hospital bed with serious back labour saying “I can’t do this” and she looked at me and said “You are doing it…this baby is coming” It was so good to hear those words. When Jon said it, I thought “Yeah right what do you know?” but to hear it from her, another mom, a doula, I just knew she was right and that my baby would be there soon.
    Looking back on my labour, yeah it really really hurt but those 12 little hours seem like nothing. It was the first few weeks with a newborn where time really dragged on and now, I can’t believe my tiny baby is 3 months old!
    Are you having another hospital birth? (If you don’t mind me asking…I’m a little nosey).

  2. It is Jay Duncan! We loved working with her the first time and I am SO looking forward to having her on our team this time. We are planning another hospital birth. I would be a great home birth candidate with how my labour progresses and the fact that I can’t have pain intervention, but I had a pretty serious internal tear last time that required immediate medical attention and a drip of oxytocin. And since I tore last time I am at an increased risk as the scar tissue is not as flexible as natural tissue near the cervix. I just thought that the last thing I would want would be to have the baby and then have to be rushed to the hospital! I am hoping that I have no tearing and we get to go home very shortly after he comes out (this is my ideal). But in the end it’s healthy babe and healthy mom that really matters!

  3. My fingers are crossed that you have no problems this time and everything goes smoothly!

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