You know that old saying “if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all?” Well it is because of that saying that I have not written a blog post in oh, two months or so. I have not had anything nice to say and I am not a fan of pity parties. I didn’t want this blog to turn into Jessica’s pity party spectacular. I like to try to always see the positive of a situation, even if it is a teeny tiny positive. It’s a known fact that positive people live longer and happier lives!
But I have had a revelation. I am thinking that if maybe I just rant for a whole post about all the things that are pissing me off and that I resent I will feel lighter in some way. Some of these things are petty, some are pretty huge. Regardless of size, I want to take this opportunity to just get it all out, scream it from the mountain tops if you will.
So get your ear plugs now, this will be one hell of a loud bunch of screaming. And if you don’t agree with me I don’t give a shit, save your fingers the typing and keep your opinion to yourself. If you do agree with me leave a comment so that I don’t feel like the only asshole on the planet.
1. I resent the postal strike. This strike kept money and resources from coming in to my family. These people wanted more money than I made and I have a university degree, they need a grade 12. I agree that our government overspends and now that they are trying to rein it in people flip out, but people don’t want to pay more taxes… Well the money has to come from somewhere…
2. I resent people who drive 20kms below the speed limit in the PASSING lane on the highway. Hear that old guy in the 1984 brown Ford pick up with the rusting paint that flaps in the wind? I am talking to you. I would also like to add people who ride my ass. Yes I will stop my car and get out and yell at you. I have done it before and I will do it again. I have two small children in my vehicle, I don’t need to be rear-ended. And I am not a slow driver, and I can’t control what the driver in front of me is doing, so back the fuck off.
3. I resent the dentist. Why can they charge so much more than what your insurance covers? I recently submitted a claim that I have 50% coverage for, well guess what, I got 41% back. Hmmmm, doesn’t quite add up does it. Or how about the last time I had my teeth cleaned for my regular 6 month check up, I have 100% coverage for that and I ended up having to pay over $40 on top of that. Seriously! Now I know people will be all like, oooo, you are lucky to have coverage, blah, blah, blah… well screw you. If I didn’t have coverage I wouldn’t expect to get anything back and I would expect to have to pay everything. I wouldn’t be given the false hope of 100% and 50% coverage. I don’t like being lied to and cheated.
4. I resent the fact that the woman always has to carry the baby. Men think that being pregnant is SO easy. And if we are tired why don’t we go to bed earlier? Hmmm, maybe it’s because going to bed doesn’t mean you sleep? And being pregnant is no cake walk. There’s a reason that at around 34/35 weeks all pregnant women do is talk about how badly they want the baby out of there. It is worth it yes, but it’s not easy. It’s so easy for a man to say he would do it if he could. Yeah, I would get prostate exams if I could too honey, just to spare you the discomfort. Oh that’s right I don’t have a prostate, DARN! Dodged a bullet there didn’t I. Thank you men for pointing out the obvious that women have a uterus and you don’t, doesn’t get you off the hook for acting with empathy and attempting some understanding.
5. I resent that my daughter has chosen now, of all times, to establish herself as a fascist dictator within our house. Trust my child. She knows I have hit a weak spot. She knows she is faster and more agile than me. When she runs away she looks back to taunt me. I know she is thinking, run fat lady run, I’d like to see you try! HA! That’s exactly what she’s thinking. Nothing like beating a dead horse is there Everly.
6. I resent hemorrhoids. A few weeks ago I bent down to get Evie ready for her bath and noticed it was really uncomfortable in my butt region. I thought, hmmm, haven’t felt that before. So being the idiot that I am I decide to take a look. BIG MISTAKE. I dropped the mirror and mentally drafted my will. Surely these things were vile cancerous growths that were going to take over my entire body. One was the size of the nail on my big toe, the other was the size of my pinky fingernail. A trip to the doctor confirmed that cancer they were not, I was the lucky host of hemorrhoids, super common in pregnancy. Yeah because you don’t have enough anxiety about the trauma that is about to happen to one hole, you need to worry about yet another. Thank god the horrid bastards went away with some treatment. Oh but I am told they will rear their ugly selves again after labour. That should be fun. It will be like a roast beef, a nugget potato and a large pea in my underpants; a complete Sunday dinner.
7. I resent EI. Because of how their calculations run I will be receiving $600 less each month than I was anticipating. I was told they calculate one way, when in fact they calculate another. You never have to worry about the government letting you down when it comes to ripping you off.
8. I resent my mom not being here for this baby. Nuff said.
9. I resent being considered lazy when I do twice what most of the people around me do. I have always thought of myself as a bit of an overachiever. I like to take lots on. So being called lazy or perceived as such REALLY rots my socks.
10. I resent life getting in the way when I am trying to make plans. Yes it has really got to this level.
11. I resent technology when it doesn’t work the way it is supposed to. When I click a button that I have paid for to do something, I would like it to do that something without some sort of strange fuckery occurring. Is that too much to ask?
12. I resent taking on water like the sinking Titanic. Memory foam is lovely on a bed, not so much on your legs. I love the fact that I can tell where my socks sat when I get up in the morning, despite the fact that I have had my socks off for, oh, 12 hours. Memory foam.
13. I resent the fact that my daughter is better at potty training her dolls than I am at potty training her. Her dolls tell her when they need to pee, she puts them on the potty and then she gives them a “licorice” reward. The child knows what she is doing if she can teach it to someone else. But despite this she insists on pooping in her diaper because (direct quote) mom will change it. If only there was some way to let you child sit in poop and it not be neglect that would inspire extreme guilt. The child has me over a barrel on this one and she knows it.
14. I resent being called uneducated, especially by uneducated people. Sometimes it is worth your breath, other times it isn’t. I am not as good at identifying when to hold back these days, likely the lack of sleep leading to lack of patience thing has something to do with it.
15. I resent having to work more than I need to on some things. Sometimes I would like to be like my two year old and just throw myself on the ground and refuse. Just flat out refuse. Too bad, not going to happen. Oh if only, lol.
16. I resent the idiot that drives into our co-op at night with music blaring from his car. If I wanted to listen to hard core gangster rap at 11:11pm I would have it playing in my house asshole. Some of us have kids. You will slow your car to 10kms though, so that’s quite thoughtful.
17. I also resented the jerk with the starter that needed to be replaced when he would take 9 tries to start his car every morning below our bedroom window. Thankfully B hated this guy too and actually went down there one morning and told the guy to park his car in front of his own window or get the stupid thing fixed.The stupid thing got fixed.
18. I resent the fact that I was the uneducated owner of credit cards and now I have to pay that debt off in addition to my student loan. I would like to also add to this category that I resent the Government of Canada for getting involved in post secondary education funding and driving all of the prices up. Thanks guys!
19. I resent that we need to vote on what to do about sales tax. If our government wants to lower taxes just lower freaking sales taxes for crying out loud. I think you would be hard pressed to find someone that would say, well actually I would like to pay more tax. Hmm, maybe you would and it would be the same guy who is in favour of maintaining the ridiculously high entry level postal worker’s wage.
20. I resent public education. Why? Because all of these people around graduate and they don’t know the difference between their, there, and they’re… or your and you’re. They mean really different things people come on. Everyone who makes it past grade 12 should know this stuff. It’s really an insult or reflection on our educators that SO MANY you don’t. Thank you Facebook for identifying how auto correct and spell check will leave their mark on entire generations of people. Some people say oh I am just lazy so I don’t bother. Really? Lazy? You are too lazy to make your brain work? LOL.
21. I resent the cost of housing where I live. I have it on good authority that things will correct and go back to actual, realistic, payable in your lifetime amounts again, but it’s a bitch wait it out. Until then we will happily take advantage of cooperative housing. When we got into our co-op we felt a little bit like criminals, it just didn’t seem like it could be legal, we almost felt bad… ALMOST.
22. I resent having a failing digestive system. There are so many things that I am going to miss when I have to go back to my hypoallergenic diet this weekend. I will not miss the tummy pain that has started up again, but I will miss Milk Duds and Sour Keys and Slurpees. Oh, old friends, how I will miss you. And once I have the baby my GI specialist will talk to me again- yahoo!
23. I resent people thinking they “know who I am” or what kind of life I live by the kind of vehicle that I drive. I didn’t really realize how much the vehicle you drive impacts people until recently and it’s nuts. My favourite is when some asshole makes a comment about my BMW and waves his arms in the air. Well I will have you know hand waver that your 2011 vehicle cost triple what mine did. Who is the big spender now?
24. I resent not being given the space to grieve as I need to.
25. I resent mountains being made from molehills. Drama, drama, drama. Some people just can’t live without it. Bor-ing!
Okay that’s enough for now. I am feeling a lot like a negative nelly and a whiny baby. I plan to counter this post with all the things I am thankful for, but not today. Today I want to be a bitchy teenager. And, odds are that I am not the only one who resents a list of 25 things. This was the most difficult post that I have ever posted. I have never wavered on posting anything before, I usually just click PUBLISH and that’s the end of it. I hesitated on this one big time.