Baby Jail

Our trip to Vancouver was blessed with beautiful weather- never have I seen so much of the sun there, lol! Everly and I had plans with a friend of mine on Sunday to walk along Kits beach to take advantage of this weather rarity. How lucky are we that we can stroll along a boardwalk in the middle of February! This was Everly’s first time touching sand, her first time eating sand and likely her first time pooping sand- she had a great time. When it was time for Everly to nurse we tried to find a good location but decided on my car when a good location could not be found. Our plan was to feed her and then head back out to the beach. While we were in the car we decided maybe we would go back to where I was staying instead, as the wind was getting a bit chilly. When Everly was done nursing I plunked her into her car seat and strapped her in snug as a bug (more on the car seat later) and went to put the stroller away. I emptied everything out of the stroller, put the emptied items into the car and then proceeded to put the stroller into the trunk. I slammed the trunk shut, said see yah soon to my friend and then went to get in the car… but it was locked. No biggie I thought as I remembered locking the door when the plan was to head back to the beach (I nursed E in the backseat). Then I went to open the backdoor… locked… my eyes frantically scanned the other doors… locked and locked- my baby and keys were locked in the car!

I immediately felt the acids in my stomach start to rise up my throat and could feel the tears welling behind my eyes. How could I have done something so careless. I said to my friend, I locked her in there with my keys. My friend in a very calm voice said it’s okay, she is fine we will call BCAA and get her out, she also threw in that if we needed to we would break a window. My mind was reeling with all of the things that could happen as my friend dialed BCAA, I just kept pacing around all the windows, wringing my hands together and trying to breathe. My friend connected with the dispatcher on the phone and they let us know that someone would be there in under 10 minutes hopefully… and so began the second longest 10 minutes of my life (the first longest could be found while pushing my daughter into this world).

Everly was completely unaffected. She had just been fed, had her soother in her mouth and managed to pick up a water bottle to play with. She looked happy. We smiled and waved at her through the windows and she smiled and waved back at us, she probably couldn’t figure out what the heck was going on, but she was happy. So like this, we waiting. To make matters worse I had to go pee. I didn’t go earlier because I thought we would be heading back to the Starbucks, and then when we were headed home I knew I could make it for the short trip. My friend said just go, I will stay with her, but I couldn’t. I was already the mom who had locked her keys in the car with the baby, I couldn’t be the mom who left the baby in the car while she went pee. I couldn’t take my eyes off of her. Plus, I didn’t want the tow truck driver person to get there and be like, where is her mother… so we waited and waited and waited. It felt like forever.

Everly spat out the soother, then she threw the water bottle, the panic in me grew… we didn’t have long, she was going to start getting angry. We attempted games of peek a boo, she watched for a bit, but you could see it in her eyes that she would not be entertained for much longer. She started to squirm from left to right while arching her back, I knew this posture, it meant that a meltdown was on it’s way. Then, holy of holiness, the tow truck driver arrived. He tried one tool and it didn’t work so he had to go back for another. I wanted to yell, good god get this over with, what the hell are you doing, but of course I kept my mouth shut because at that time I did not feel that I was worthy of judging people, he could have just said- you are the ass that locked her in the car. She started to scream. Not crying screaming, just listening to the sound of her voice screaming, she would look to us for a reaction, oh yes, meltdown city here we come… the tears started the screaming peaked and then pop- the door was open. I swooshed into the back seat and unbuckled her, her face was filled with a giant smile in the direction of the tow truck driver- well done baby, charm the pants off the man, he just saved you! I thanked the driver over and over and I felt my blood pressure start to drop a little bit (I could no longer feel my heartbeat in my ears). I still had to pee.

As we were walking to the Starbucks I started to get the shakes and feel all tingly, maybe the adrenaline working its way out of my body? I went to use the washroom and when I saw my face in the mirror I couldn’t help but point my finger at my own reflection and say “IDIOT” after that I thought it might be time to work on forgiving myself. afterall, Everly was safe and out of the locked car, BCAA didn’t charge us and my bladder was not screaming in pain anymore, who would have thought that these three points would make a happy ending? I think it’s time to invest in a hideakey thinger.

Spring Baby

At the beach!

Olympic Baby!

We are here in sunny (yes, sunny) Vancouver to take in the Olympic festivities. So far we have just taken the ferry and visited Oakridge Centre and yes, it is busy but it is not too insane. I guess at this stage in the game it would be good to point out that I am that person who loves New York City specifically because it is busy and full of life. There is something about the energy of people in motion that just makes me feel all fueled up. I think it is even more special when that crowd has one common thought- yeay Canada! It is so amazing to be driving down the streets seeing people decked out in the Canadiana; some are even super Canadians, wearing flags as capes. It makes me proud to be a Canadian. It makes me happy that I brought my daughter here to witness it even if she won`t remember. But I question that won`t remember thing, aren`t scientists proving cool things about cell memory right now. So there you have it, somewhere deep in the cells of her body she will remember a time when you could walk down the packed streets of Vancouver and feel the magnetic energy of thousands of minds focused on supporting our country.; how cool is that. Oh and just in case the cell memory thing isn`t legit, we will have only 1000 pictures to prove it by the time we go home I am sure.

With the Olympics on my mind lately (hence limited blog posts due to watching!), I have started to wonder what my baby might be good at if there were Baby Olympics and she was on Team Canada… Here are a few things:

1- Hurling- definition of sport: grabbing any nearby object and hurling it towards the ground. Everly would take gold in this I am sure. Sometimes she hurls so fast that I don`t even think she knows what she is grabbing anymore, she just grabs and throws. My favourite is when she grabs food out of her bowl and throws it on the ground!

2- Hearing Damage Heat- definition of sport: making nose so loud that it damages the hearing of the judges. This is one of those more dangerous sports, kind of like the luge or skeleton. If Everly did not take gold in this event I would not want to be around the child who did- nuff said. Excuse me, what was that, I think someone is trying to call me from the other room but I can`t quite tell…

3- The Squidge- definition of sport: trying to get away when you are being wiped, changed or dressed. I BELIEVE in my child`s abilities to bring home a medal of some sort in this event. It`s like she thinks I am trying to take away her soul every time that I wash her face. I have begun to master the art of changing pee diapers while she is standing and holding on to something- trust me, it`s easier than trying to hold her down. Poop diapers are even more challenging because, well, there is a poopey element to bring. This sport could be combined with the Hearing Damage Heat for a hybrid sport…

4- Feeding in Motion- definition of sport: eating while walking, crawling, rolling- you name it. This is the only way that Everly will eat right now. If we feed her while she is seated and locked in to a chair the food gets spat out and thrown on the floor. The only exception to this rule is if we are out in public- then she will eat tons of food whilst strapped in a high chair- figure that out… So yeah, she would be bringing in at least a silver medal in this one!

5- Resisting Sleep Training Downhill- definition of sport: title is self explanatory, downhill comes into effect when the child previously slept well. Well if you have followed this blog you know how sleep training went in our house! Yes she is doing brilliantly now, but there was a time when- oh my GOD let`s actually not even go there! Everly would be the Vegas Favourite to take gold in this event!

6- Turning Cynical Parents into Suckers: the infant reduces her once cynical parents to circus employees that cry at long distance commercials. Yes, I am a bit of a cynic sometimes and sarcasim is my one true friend, but Everly has done something to me- she has warmed up my little black no heart and made it all squishy and pink, likewise to her father. We will do anything to make her giggle and smile and it is all worth it!

Be My Valentine!

So with Valentines Day tomorrow I thought I might spread some holiday cheer for both the lovers and haters of Valentines Day! In this house we celebrate all ‘holidays’ both ‘genuine’ and ‘fabricated.’ I read these terms describing holidays everywhere and about every holiday, but no one holiday suffers as much scrutiny as Valentines Day. I honestly don’t see the harm in celebrating your love for your loved ones, maybe that’s because I don’t subscribe to the belief that for Valentines Day you need to have a romantic love Valentine- I think your Valentine is whoever you want to show your love to. This year is my first year of having 2 Valentines and I have to admit that it made it more exciting than ever. This more exciting than ever things seems to be the theme for Everly’s first year and I imagine for most of her life as I watch her experience things for the first time. I don’t know what has been more magical for me, experiencing things for the first time through my eyes or watching her… actually I do know, it’s been watching her. It makes me want to provide her every opportunity for experience and that is where holidays come in! 

For the celebratory!

 

For the cynical!

 

 This week while we were watching Modern Family (our new favourite show) my husband and I came to the realization that we are the couple ‘Cameron and Mitchell;’ I am Cameron, he is Mitchell. If you don’t watch the show (ps. you should), this is the couple that has just adopted a new baby girl so they are learning all about parenthood (as are we!). A few weeks ago there was an episode about Ferberizing the baby… well if you read the blog you know how hard it was for me to listen to Everly protest all those nights, while B just stood strong in his belief that she was okay and that she needed to learn to self-soothe. Although I also knew this to be true you could not say that I stood strong… I cried, I faltered, I doubted and so did Cameron- while Mitchell stood strong. Another episode found Cameron using their home for a wedding because the space was needed and he just loves a wedding, um, yeah, just slightly like me to eats up anything wedding with a spoon, while B looks on cynically as Mitchell did. 

This past week, the episode where I had my epiphany, Cameron had dressed the baby as a cherub to wish Mitchell a Happy Valentines Day. After several attempts to get his attention Mitchell still didn’t look up from his work at his desk and just answered oh yes, Happy Valentines… now if I had a nickle for every time this happened to me, every time that I dress Everly up to parade her in front of her dad and he is like oh, yeah, sure she looks cute. Well Cameron did what I haven’t and he called Mitchell on his not looking and fawning over the baby. Mitchell came back with the retort, well you do this for every holiday, you dress the baby up every chance you get. Then BAM, that’s where it really hit me that Cameron is my kindred spirit, I get it Cameron, I too feel the need to dress up my baby and have a photo shoot at every opportunity and why the hell not! It’s quality time with your baby, they are only going to let us dress them up for so long and look at the great photos and memories they will have. 

It Doesn’t Have To Be That Way!

I realize that I may be burned at the stake for this post but here it goes, what the hell! What good is the internet if you can’t share your crazy opinions, lol!

When I was pregnant with Everly I vowed that I was not going to be one of those mothers in the mall with dirty sweatpants, an old t-shirt and greasy hair in a pony tail with their child immaculately dressed in the stroller. I vowed that my child was not going to become my measurement of  self worth. I was not going to let myself go and have the “awww she’s so cutes” of my baby be enough. I guess what I am trying to say is that I still wanted people to think I was attractive too, and if we are all HONEST with ourselves who doesn’t? I know there are people out there who don’t have to courage to admit that they would like other people to find them attractive (even if it is just your partner) because they think it is shallow and vein and I think that’s sad and so contradictory. Why shouldn’t we be allowed to want to look nice, especially when we are all kind of expected to (according to pop culture and media)? I am not saying that looks are all that matter, but shouldn’t they matter a little bit? Doesn’t looking nice help you to feel nice? I know it does for me… Oh I am totally showing how shallow I really am, lol!

Now maybe it is because I only have one child, or maybe it is because of my baby’s age, or maybe my baby’s temperament, but I have been able to manage to make myself presentable upon exiting my house up until now (that’s just a smidge of a boastful statement isn’t it! ha ha). Well, actually wait, let’s back that truck up I know lots of moms that still look nice and have children… so maybe it could be because I only have one child, that makes things easier for sure, but it is not because of her age and temperament because even when she was newborn I washed my hair and she is a DEMANDING child so it can’t be her temperament… and all babies have different temperaments so that wouldn’t account for all the yummy mummys I see… Maybe it’s because they, and I, prioritize a little bit of time for ourselves. Ah-ha! There it is! It’s that extra 5 minutes that I make before we leave the house where she is strapped into her car seat/high chair at the door of my bedroom or bathroom while I finish putting myself together. She and I love this moment together, seriously we do. I act all silly and entertaining and she clearly thinks I am the greatest mom, put here on the earth for her pure enjoyment. I hope this 5 minute moment continues as she gets older.

I hadn’t thought much of all this until recently when a friend commented that I was more put together than her and she has no kids, she said usually people with kids aren’t as put together as single people, I said well I guess I find the time and I make it a priority. I think I should take a moment here and clarify what I mean by put together; put together does not mean 4 inch heels and a full face of racoon make-up. Put together could be jeans and a clean graphic t-shirt or cute lulu’s and a nice hoodie with a bit of lip gloss, basically just looking like you made some effort to polish out the rough edges of dried cereal and snot he he he.

Another thing that piqued my attention was an article I read where the mom had said that because she had kids she couldn’t go to the mall to shop for herself and couldn’t wash her hair and couldn’t wear nice clothes when she went out with her kids. Shower at night when your kids are in bed… change your clothes just before you leave the house so they don’t get dirty before you leave, and then change back into your grubs when you get back to your house (thereby reducing the amount of time near the child who’s goal in life is to get everything dirty, lol!). As for shopping… well we have no problems there. I have taken Everly shopping since she was 2 weeks old and she does just fine in the mall. Sure there are days that I can’t try something on, but most stores have great return/exchange policies so you can try it on at home and return if needed (ps. I pretty much only buy things for myself in stores with policies such as this).

I am not using my baby as an excuse to look like dirty and disheveled. If you want to dress sloppy in sweats and dirty t-shits, that’s fine, that’s your choice, just don’t blame it on your baby. And for the record, I don’t think that caring what you look like is an entirely shallow trait either. It’s important that a child learns that the world judges you by how you present yourself (yes I just wrote that). I am not saying that we should all look the same, or that my version of put together is the right one. I know that this way of thinking which our society has subscribed to might not be morally right or fair, but it is the truth of our world and probably not likely to change, especially when people like me perpetuate the belief, I know, I know :)- Yes I have heard that we all have the power to change the world and that I should teach my child the right way and yadda, yadda, yadda… Obviously I will tell Everly not to judge a book by it’s cover, I will tell her that the inside is really what counts at the end of the day. But I am also going to be realistic with her, something like informed consent and then she can make her own choices about what to do in a situation. When Everly goes for her first job interview or has to defend her thesis (obvi) I hope that she will remember that looking put together will help people to take her seriously, because although it shouldn’t matter in a perfect world, it does in this one.  Or maybe, by the time she is this age none of this stuff will matter and she will think her mom is as shallow as two drops of rain on a dime! She is going to hate me for something one day, it might as well be for wanting her to look nice, ha ha ha (that was an evil villain laugh).

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